Before I can either submit my first book to a second round of querying agents and/or publishers, or just straight out self-publish, there is one major hurdle yet to take, and it has nothing to do with writing. Up until now, I’ve invested relatively little money into the project. The website Fiverr provided me with affordable developmental- and line editors, a logo designer, and beta readers. All were instrumental in my progress, and very much worth the effort, but the decision to go through with them was reasonably easy, since their cost was manageable. Not so much with one of the following choices that I need to make in the near future. 

The money pit:

First. I self-publish all three books, having spent a lot more effort on just the first book. Project ‘writing a book’ is done, and I go do something else with my free time. An additional choice is to first go down the same path with books two and three, acquiring beta readers, and then publish all three. 

Second. I self-publish book one as is, or with a light/affordable editing round, and see what happens. I can always throw the other two on the market and be done with it. 

Third. I give it my utmost and aim to deliver book one fully formed, as a writer does with their books.

I can hear you thinking: what choice, it’s always number three. Indeed, out of all of the above, that one does appeal to me most. I’ve spent more than three years of my free time writing the books, and dedicated myself fully to the project, so I might as well go all in. But, and here’s the thing, it would mean hiring an editor, and good editors are expensive. Will it guaranty a publishing deal? Not likely. Will it guaranty success with readers? Without promoting the hell out of the book, not likely. Do I think my writing is good enough to take the chance? I think I’ll pass and leave that one for others to decide.

It has taken me a long time to get used to the idea of publishing. I started this project without any thought of sharing my story with others. Over time, and with positive feedback from total strangers, it became something to consider. These days, I find it difficult to keep my mind off the ‘what-ifs’. What if people actually like it? What if I can make money off of it? The first one is a yes, the second one, a fairly obvious no.

If things are possible, that doesn’t mean they’re likely. And besides, I’m too much of a realist, and imposter syndrome does rear its ugly head every once in a while, but everyone is entitled to a dream, are they not? 

No, there are more important questions to be asked. Do I think it’s worth the money? Do I want to give it my best shot? Can I be proud of my work, knowing I could’ve done more?

The money pit

Buchara, Uzbekistan

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